My sister, brother and I have been helping our mother live for the past few years. Outside of my family and work, that was my purpose and where I directed my energy. Now, a month after her passing, I am finding may way back to this new life. Re-connecting with myself, my children, my husband, and the passion and fire that I know lives inside of me. There are glimpses of joy, life and laughter and I am so grateful of the love surrounding me. Although, right now, in this moment, my body craves for stillness and peace and my heart is beating slowly searching to find its rhythm. I know she would want me to wake up and get back to it; no wasting time or energy and remember the love and time spent. But for now, I am in a sea of grief, of memories, of what was and reconciling what is.